two vampire friends lying on the floor getting drunk and describing eachother because they can’t use mirrors don’t even try to tell me that isn’t adorable
for the first time in my life ive found something i may like about vampires
My science teacher used to teach all of his classes morse code until last year because last year he caught two kids cheating on the test and having a conversation across the room in morse code by blinking their eyelids. So he doesn’t teach morse code anymore and those kids have to wear sunglasses when they take tests
double standards disgust me. when a guy sleeps with a ton of women he’s a stud but when a girl sleeps with a ton of women she’s a lesbian
That was not the way I expected that sentence to end.
reasons why wearing your sleeves over your hands makes you superior
1. it keeps ur hands warm
2. for some reason other people think it’s cute so that’s a mega bonus
3. when ur carrying something hot it protects ur hands from getting burned
if i lay here
if i just lay here
do u think i’d still pass all of my classes
Here’s to the Crazy Ones. The ones who can change the world.
I am sorry, is ‘bitch I might be’ over?
ouch i hurt my lips can you kiss them for me
I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist.
It’d bring me great joy.
I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs
ready when you are
Or if you’d like to have some more options….
and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football.
Just in case you are looking for variety.
what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.
i wanna make posts so raw that everyone on this website gets e-coli and dies
I’m Pitbull And I Love To Party (Uno Dos Tres Quatro) - Pitbull (feat. Pitbull) [Pitbull Remix]